Since I was little I thought stained glass was amazing.
One night while dealing with the affects of life long insomnia, I think I was in my early teens I saw a late night infomercial for stained glass. Now I have looked at stained glass in churches all my life… it was honestly the only reason I was there. Well and the cookies.
Earlier this year I took a class, after trying to teach myself using google and you tube I took a class. I learned a lot in that class, the teach may be sus on my style but I learned a ton.
And I was off, my first solo piece ended up being my second. I really really messed up the spacing on the gaps for the pieces and it just didn’t meet up well and was not a circle. Tje second one has a coaster in it for size.
She is 104 pieces and about 12 inches. Do you see where my issue is? No, details. I want all the details. Why, yes! That is a dinner plate size copy of the Ophelia Hall window from Wednesday, why do you ask?
So I was showing my progress on Tictok and made a Mandolorian helmet. It wasn’t great but it was easy to see what it was. I got a message and was asked to make my first commission. The Armorer.
I fought with a design for about 30 hrs. And then decided if I was going to do this, just in case I made 2, so like the first one if I hated it I would have a back up. But I didn’t note that the first pattern of the for the Ophelia Hall window I totally hated and it wasn’t a circle. But here is the glass cut out.
I have the pieces. It looks “OK!” What could go wrong to hurt my fragile self esteem? The first time I picked it up after it was copper taped and soldered was the tools fell off. I cried and hid from the commission for a week. I was a failure and how could I possibly create are…I am a hack.
So after I beat the imposter syndrome down with a broom stick? I got back to work. I did a kind of free “glass”/hand frame and made it so that the tools were connected to the frame. This squared it up and also made it so much more sturdy. If you are asking yourself, why didn’t she think that far ahead and realize it wouldn’t be stable with those small points of contact, I was 30 hours in on the design and didn’t realize how thin the points of contact were.
But I loved how it came out. And I had a second one to work with to see if I could do even better. Which I am not sure of Because I loved them both.
But this one went off to a new home.
Round 2 I wanted to bring in the frame more. It is also has a black patina, I just haven’t taken pictures of it yet, all cleaned and shiny. But I love them both. I really home that this one finds a good home when I can put it up for adoption.
So was the imposter syndrome worth it?